A Poem About Paul Hong, As Requested By Paul Hong.

Paul: 'Omfg there's a droplet of water on my shoes~'
Shut the fuck up Paul. Go chain-anal rape 50 other dickless dudes.

What are those jeans Paul? Omg are they Dior?
Paul: 'Yeah they are~ They're size 28~ So tight it's making my penis sore~'

Um... Fuck you.
Just want to fill your wardrobe with poo.

With all that money, you'd expect him to pull up in a limo like Chuck Bass.
But no. He doesn't even have his learners. He buys a fucking weekly bus pass.

Always at uni somewhere, always maintaining a productivity of zero.
Probably the best qualities are his Tetris skills and his endless supply of dough.

He once came to my flat, and slept on my single bed.
...With me on it too. I should have fully asked for a head.

Fucking useless piece of shit motherfucker horseslut.
Jokes. You know how much I wanna rub your non-existent butt!

Bejeweled Blitz

I cannot find the third green hexagon.
Makes me so angry I want to split your head open.

Time goes faster than watching Inception.
I should be good at this. I'm fucking Asian.

I got no coins, so I can't afford the Free Multiplier.
This is so painful. It's like Spankwire.

I want blazing speed, but I click hint.
Fuck Bejeweled. I'm awesome at Tetris Sprint.

My only hope is the daily spin.
It makes me excited as a dolphin.

Ooo someone's score is 653,200. Fuck you Jason Lim.
I hate you. Go harvest potatoes at a kibbutzim!

Note: a 'kibbutzim' is a communal farm or settlement in Israel.

I Feel So Inspired To Write Another Poem

Nocturnal

I wake up and it's dark
I'm like what the fark

Where art thou morning sunshine
Oh no, the time is nine

In the fucking evening
Now I want to eat something

My flatmates wake up with me because they're michinnoms
I'm a michinnom too because I write these gay poems

Ah yes, nDeva fucked me like a whore
Just proves I can't differentiate anymore

Umm...hope Spain wins the World Cup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inspirational Poem By Peter Kim

I want to be successful.
So I don't become a tool.

Like the Maori who tried to steal my phone on the free bus.
Just want to drown that fucking homeless cunt in mucus.

Ari Gold doesn't tutor kids; he teaches life.
And the only thing he does at home is fuck his hot wife.

I tutor kids. It's so captivating and fun.
That's why I go on Facebook while my student analyses a pun.

Pigeon

I was sitting peacefully looking at the blue sky
Then a pigeon appeared out of nowhere and said hi

A pigeon is a bird that no one wants or needs
Its eyes are like two watermelon seeds

I kick my foot to shoo away the bastard
Or should I poke him with my EFTPOS card

What lovely coloured feathers it has
Looks like they've been shat on by Triads

It has a really large belly its enormous
...to be continued

ECON101

ECON101 makes me bored
Two hours ruining my spinal cord

Ten minute break
For fucks sake

Makes me want to buy cigarettes from the dairy
Because the lecturer's hand is so hairy

I'd rather be in Vietnam
Growing weed on a farm

I check the top 10 on NBA
And consider switching to BA...