It's Another List....Top 10 Things I Hate Waiting For!

1. Waiting for Study Link to process my Student Loan

2. Waiting for the homeless person to get off the free bus

3. Waiting for that bitch to turn around so I can see her face

4. Waiting for someone to get the fuck out of the toilet

5. Waiting for porn to load.......jokes people?

6. Waiting for a piece of clothing to go on sale

7. Waiting for someone to acknowledge my lame pun

8. Waiting for the noisy Arabs to shut the fuck up (only the noisy ones)

9. Waiting for the love of my life

10. Waiting for my exam results on Ndeva (no)

Pigeon

I was sitting peacefully looking at the blue sky
Then a pigeon appeared out of nowhere and said hi

A pigeon is a bird that no one wants or needs
Its eyes are like two watermelon seeds

I kick my foot to shoo away the bastard
Or should I poke him with my EFTPOS card

What lovely coloured feathers it has
Looks like they've been shat on by Triads

It has a really large belly its enormous
...to be continued

The Inextricable Piece of Shit That Is Dieting

Many have tried, and failed. I have tried, and failed. If so many people have failed, it must be a real nasty piece of shit. I failed ECON101, but that doesn't make it a piece of shit because only I did. FML. Niggas. Dieting is a real bitch, like pre-marriage Jessica Alba - a bitch I'd like to do, but can't.

I wish I could shit out all my fat for hours and hours, and I'll weigh 10 kgs less. Sigh.

Next is the problem of compromise or my inability to do so. Perhaps the fundamental necessity of life is meat (and a dose of fast food every once in a while). And I love eating. Dieting forces me to sacrifice something I love doing. Isn't that sad? If I loved to donate to charities and I couldn't, that would be sad. Same logic. But I love skinny jeans, too, so there's this balancing act between eating and bum sticking out in skinny jeans. SIGH

There really is no conclusion. Smoking's supposed to help with diet, but I find myself eating more as I smoke. Ditto for exercising, but I eat just as much as I gain = useless.

Someone sort my life out please....and you may get a mention in this to-be-world-famous blog.

Buy Me

A.P.C. green knit.
Commes Des Garcons grey polo. Doesn't it look so soft?

What The Fuck Aye

Jizz.

Jizz.

Eww.

House

Eat.


Work.
Read.Relax.

Cheap Monday II

Jeans for skinny, tall, white males. Sigh.
Comfy looking 'holy' (ANOTHER LAME PUN) sweater.

New Year's Resolutions Check

After getting fucked for law, I decided to live life like a true warrior. Laziness was like an illegitimate child from a previous affair. It dragged me down like a bitch, and I had to beat it without committing domestic abuse (SIGH FUCKING LAME PUN).

A month later, it's time to reflect, ponder, and...sigh:

1. Save money --> I'm in debt
2. Exercise everyday --> beer belly
3. Go to every single lecture --> no...
4. Be less judgmental --> the new fuckers who run the Subway near uni are cunts
5. Quit smoking --> surprisingly the most successful of my resolutions, largely due to my financial situation

1 out of 5 isn't a bad start. It's just fucked up.

But I have hope because I have this blog.

............

...

NIGGA